If I woke up in the night and someone struck me in the face with a bat as hard as they could, then I would feel tremendous pain and see the effects of the bat that hit my face. I would seek medical attention and recover. In contrast, if I went to bed one night, woke up in the morning in tremendous pain, walked over to my bathroom mirror and surprisingly discovered that my face was broken in to pieces, I would ask questions. How did this happen?
If I didn’t ask questions and I simply continued in agony then I would be an idiot. If I woke up each morning in the same scenario without taking action to discover the source of my bludgeoning then I would continue to be an idiot. But I’m not an idiot. I would take measures to find the root of my pain.
The root is not the bat.
If I found and then eliminated the bat then the “person” thrusting the bat into my face would still exist. This is the difference between the elimination of pain vs. hiding the pain.
What triggers the pain mechanism? What is the source?
I enjoy my CorePower Yoga classes. It’s a training tool for my OCR and it centers me after a few days of planet existence. I always discover something about myself during each class. It may come during a savasana or a down-dog but the enlightenment is usually freeing.
During one practice I discovered a internal process of managing my emotions. This was somewhat of a new discovery for me; similar to the saying, “If you love something set it free; if it comes back then it was meant to be.” But not really. It was more like, “How would you react if someone took a bat to your face?”
I entered the Yoga class with anger, found peace during the class, then left with anger.
So this is my conclusion . . . the anger had a root. The gardener of peace came during class and mowed down my anger but since anger has deep roots it grew back. This was a good revelation! I released the pain during yoga then realized the pain AGAIN when my practice ended . . . revolving pain . . . you can dismiss it but it will keep circling back to you.
But listen . . . what’s interesting is that peace did not eliminate anger. I was hiding my anger in my soul’s irrigation well. This well is deep in the ground. Anything can cover the well, even a cloud of peace. The toxic water seeped into my soul and irrigated many aspects of what animates me. You could hear this toxic water through my speech, see the annoying drip in my actions and feel it through my touch.
We all know that emotions and feelings are deeply rooted in us but my discovery was simply this: forgetting the anger did not remove the anger. Even the element of peace did not bring healing. Distractions, alcohol, sex and candy won’t remove the anger. We need to find the root source, yank it, chop it, dry it then burn it.
This “bat to my face” realization came to me during yoga. It could have came during my training at the gym, while trail running in the Saddleback Mountains or driving on the 405 freeway; but it’s not the location of the revelation it’s how you move forward in the revelation.
How do you move through your emotional discoveries? What is camouflaging your pain: peace, false hope, a substance, a lie, a religion, a larger pain source?
We all have a well in us; it may be filled with anything connected to your mind, body or soul. If you were to dip a bucket deep into your inner well, what would you see after pulling the bucket up? Are you more concerned with the reflection in the bucket over the content in the bucket? Would you simply recognize or acknowledge the content then dump it back into the well. If what you found was toxic, would you try to discover how it found its way in you, then eliminate the waste? If what you found was pure and good would you share your discovery?
Draw what you will from this analogy. You can keep asking more questions, just make sure you move forward with your answers. A revelation or discovery of self does not stand well on it’s own; create intention with your findings and become someone beautiful.
May your well be filled with good as you enjoy Life’s Moments ~